Sunday, October 30, 2005

The Tagged Tree Story - A part of mine

Thankx to senior, hope will do the best ....

He thought it would be an ordinary journey. Standing behind the pillar he watched the train snort arrogantly into the station. With each snort he was reminded of his grandfather's words "You will fail in the city and return penniless"; with every heavenward whistle, he heard his cousin, "Don't worry. Come here and I will get you a job at the construction site." Now he had a 34-hour journey to prove one of them wrong, and he expected the excitement at the end of the journey. He looked at his ticket once again: compartment S9 berth 23.


Pushing his luggage under the seat, he sat close to the window. "Papa, when will you be back?" - his four year old daughter Munni asked innocently. He stared into those soft brown eyes of the motherless kid. He held her frail palms in his, through the window. "Munni, Papa will get you a nice gudiya from the city..Say tata," his sister spoke to the kid, to avoid an emotional outburst. In a minute, the train pulled forward, and Munni's little fingers parted from between his. "I need to go..", he thought, "I have to, at least for Munni's sake.."


The humid summer breeze and the rattling train coaxed him into an uncomfortable state of drowsy consciousness. He dreamt that Munni ran away, the closer he ran to her, the farther she was, like a mirage. He woke up with a start and squinted at his watch."What is the time please?"A smallish woman, a meek voice as if she was scared that her existence would annoy someone. Her only noticeable feature was her rather large, expressive eyes."4.30"Something made him look at the woman again. He had stopped noticing women long back. Ever since Meenakshi passed away...

But this woman was different. she reminded him of someone he knew. In an instant he realized who and the painful memories came flooding back. She looked exactly like his childhood sweetheart Madhu. As teenage lovers in a conservative society, they had often met secretly and had declared undying love for each other.

Then someone had found out and all hell had broken loose. The elders in the village Panchayat had ostracized Madhu's family as she was from a lower caste. Unable to bear the humiliation, she had committed suicide by drowning. That was twelve years back...

Could it be? Could it really be him? He seems different, weary and downcast. Oh no will he recognise me? No, I am dead to the world. Still she cautiously wrapped her saree end around her head and across her face. Behind the cotton screen, her mind drifted to happier times, languid strolls in the corn fields, games at the riverbed, his gentle caress, whispered sweet nothings, stolen glances at the temple fair.

Tempted to take one last look, she consoled herself that he wouldn't notice. Slowly she lifted her eyes only to find Rupak staring back at her.

She quickly glanced the other way.

‘No, this girl looks too close to be any other person. She is infact Madhu!! “Hey, Madhu!” he called.

She struggled hard not to respond to that call. And successfully managed it too.

"Hey Madhu, you forgot me?” he inquired her and came closer.

The old lady sitting opposite to him was looking at this unapprovingly.

“No, you are mistaken, My name is not Madhu.. I am Supriya” she lied.


“Hey Ram!, a young girl cannot travel safely in this country without being stalked!” the old lady muttered angrily.

The girl walked briskly away from him, trying to escape his glances, as though she was hiding something, not wanting to be discovered. He stood confused, she had said her name wasn’t Madhu, and should he run after her? Or should he let it pass, after all he still had a train to catch.
His heart told him it was Madhu, followed her, all thoughts about going to the city vanished; he was on delighted to have met Madhu after such a long time. He was filled with memories of their time together. He finally caught up with her. Looking into her eyes he saidWhy Madhu? Why this to me?'

"Please dont lie to me anymore"; sounding more like the Mani he used to be ten years back when he had first met her at the Village temple, rather than the arrogant side that seemed to rule his life now. "I know it is you, nobody else but you Madhu". Tears roll down her cheecks as she tries to remember why they ended up this way. Was it destiny or fate that they had to meet now?

As she speaks up, the train which for a while had be at a halt, slowly starts to move.

Her sorefull identification attests him her, ruined him mentally out.

Rusted evergreen black pages viewed in quick glace for moments "I love him and we got to marry one another despite the caste bar..." a louded talk roared by her before the panchayat made him to burst in tears.....

Rooking train wheels fast slowly.... young daughter oneside and lover - a shaped heart on other side... inevitable centimentals couldn't miss anyone.....hav to pick that train for her daughter, cant leave madhu as she s deserted in her life still nw.....

Confused, tears wetting his eyes..... Train rails away the station ...... Hero still in station...






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Everything below the dashed line above should be copied and pasted with every accepted tag)

This is a Story Tree and is best nurtured as follows:
1. A blogger can add only 90-100 words (not more or less) at a time
2. All previous snippets of 90-100 words need to be copied before the new set of 90-100 words are appended.
3. Each entire snippet should be linked to the respective author (and not just the first sentence or so)
4. Characters, scenes, etc. can be introduced by an author5. Bizarre twists, sci-fi, fantasy sequences are best avoided.
6. A tag must be accepted within 7 days else the branch is a dead branch
7. After appending 90-100, the Story Tree can be passed on to at most 3 bloggers.
8. If more than 1 branch leads to a blogger, s/he is free to choose any one of them but cannot mix the snippets of the individual branches.
9. The Story Tree is best left to grow than concluded
10. Please attach the image of the Story Tree below with each accepted tag (the link address can be copied and used).

Referring nanyaar? blogroll.. i tagged this story tree to.,


1. Celia 2. Godolphin 3. Witchy angel

12 comments:

Celia said...

Aaah !!! Y this huge responsibility on me yaaar ?? If I start story writing, the story characters themselves would come alive and taunt me for life. Anyways, I'll try writing one in a few days..

Yours is a good one :)

ada-paavi!!!! said...

kadhai engaiyo pogathu!!

Ramses said...

heyy wah...interestin!!!

lovely words u use:) as always:)

Anbae said...

welcome here vatsan,

yes ofcourse... story s given to change... yeh i hope it was..

with cheers,
anbae :)

Anbae said...

To ramses,

thankx a lot..,
thnkx 4 supporting me

keeping watching me

with cheers,
anbae:)

Anbae said...

To Bindhu,

happy to find ur dropping by here,
thankx a lot.

It would be intresting if u culture the characters depth into the story and make others intresting with ur aliveness skill.. i know u ll, gud luck

with expectations and cheers,
anbae

radiantbear said...

hey nice turn, I dint expect this attitude towards the story. Great work hope other will do justice to the story like you have!!

Happy Festival of Lights!!

Anbae said...

To nanyaar?

yup even i don think that this story wud trun like this..
yeh i hope they ll continue ..

lets watch....

with cheers,
anbae :)

Unknown said...

Anbae,
I am sure I left a comment here yesterday :( Thanks for the tag. Idhu varaikkum kadai ellam ezhudhinadhu ille, poi neraya soleerukken but so far have never written a story though. Will try my bestest soon

Anbae said...

To Wicked Angel,

waited for ur comment here.
hopefuly waiting for ur words as alive characters giving birth to this real story..
thankx..

with cheers,
anabe

Anonymous said...

really ur so much tallanted :) while reading this story i felt like im there on the train station. this means that ur so talanted writer. thank u 4 that!!


Lee

Anbae said...

thankx u lee,
thankx for dropping by...keep checking this blog